Andrew keeps reminding me that my gold membership is almost up. To tell you the truth, I don't really give a shit. Yes, I would lose all my pictures but there aren't that many of them anyway. Just you watch, I'll end up getting another year just so I won't have to deal with finding another place to host them. You know what's really annoying though? Getting unoptional spam for super-gold like the non-payers get to sign up for regular gold. I hate seeing that white box, I'm paying already dammit.

Anyway.

I've just about finished my first two weeks at the camp. Our little gang of employees in the three different age groups got a letter congratulating us for getting this far but I think it will be the next six weeks that threaten any shred of sanity I have left. I may have gone down from 16 to 12 kids but they're at the point where they're comfortable enough to rebel their asses off. And drive me insane in the process. I think the thing that pisses me off the most though is all the tattling they do. I've just started ignoring them and interrupting with "Stop tattling, I don't want to hear it!" And then there are the kids like Catherine. We onlt got her on Monday but she's a total sweetheart. She's become a tag-along, wrapping her arms around me for hugs and smiling up at me. Such a sweetie. April told me off for lifting her up into my arms today... does she realize that mothers do lots of stuff during their subsequent pregnancies? Besides, that girl was light as a feather. You know what I've noticed though? Whenever one of the kids come in to hug me, my belly gets in the way. Yes kids, I'm getting that big. I've grown out of around 95% of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I've traded my baby tees in for regular tees, I'm constantly clad in scrungy pants, and I've given up on trying to wear thongs. I saw some in the store today and they didn't even appeal to me. I instead bought a three-pack of briefs. I shudder at the thought. I also bought a maternity swimsuit for swimming days at the camp. It's got a built-in skirt and everything, quite shameful... but if it camoflauges my big belly, all the better.

So, the baby squirming around inside me has been made things much more real with my last appointment. I don't think my doctor was expecting to hear the heartbeat at all; just doing it, JUST in case. Apparently I have a really long waist... maybe that's why? But she found the heartbeat, nice and strong too. It really didn't hit me until I was out making my next appointment, and then the tears started welling up in my eyes. I can't even explain how it felt, but it was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced. But here's something for myself to go crazy over: am I feeling Bean's squirming already? I've been wondering that for around a week now, and in all reality I shouldn't be able to feel it yet. But my doctor says I have a long waist, so is it possible? I'd been feeling them before my appointment on Monday, and right where she found Bean's heartbeat. It could be just gas too, or whatever other pregnancy functions I'm experiencing... but it creeps the hell out of me and I'm pretty sure I don't like how it feels. Not yet anyway. I just really don't like not having control of things, especially my own body.

My cousin and his girlfriend got here from Switzerland on Monday. As soon as we got a minute alone together, he came straight for my belly. Quite an invasion of privacy if you ask me, but I guess I've lost that right with pregnancy. He came with two plastic bags FULL of Stefan's old baby clothes, yay for me. The onesies are so cute! I'm not used to handling such small things. It's been great having them around though, even if I'm at work most of the day. It's so weird having them here, it's the first time the family's come to us instead of us going out there to see them. The only shitty deal is it's been raining non-stop since they've got here, it's been raining for two weeks actually. And so fucking COLD. It's supposed to be 23�C/73�F tomorrow though, let's hope it actually happens. There's only so much you can take in a little place full of bratty kids!

12:12AM - My brother's 13th birthday, and the fact that I now have less than six hours of sleep before I have to start getting ready for work. Body. Needs. Rest.

Eyes. Sore.

I'm wearing: Tee, Adidas pants, monkey socks
I'm listening to: I love myself today *Bif Naked*
I'm thinking: I want to pee