mashed potatoes just aren't mashed potatoes without salt and pepper. i swear, my dad and brother and sister will never know how to cook. should i try teaching them? i don't know, seems too stressful for me. either that, or it's just a bunch of laziness on my part. you pick.

i've noticed it takes me a lot less food to make me full these days. i usually only eat once a day to begin with (and the usual snacking), but i often get full without eating a full serving of food now. it's good though, because i know my stomach's shrinking again. maybe i can start shrinking my stomach on the outside too. and no, i'm not anorexic. i eat... you should have seen me last night sneaking brownies in here! i AM 129 lbs. and only 5'3".

i was going to finish writing a few letters and get them all sent off to the post office today, seeing as i had to get up for physio and all (i'm surviving with 3.5 hours of sleep!). evie, i'll get your letter written, i promise! anyway. i was at physio this morning, and told tracey that i still had trouble getting my bra on. big mistake! she forced my shoulder forwards and put me in mucho pain. me and my big mouth. but ya know, being able to put my bra on would be nice too.

and only two more appointments and i'm finished physio, a cause for celebration! not really, but i can't hack these mornings when i'm supposed to be sleeping in. also, i won't have to look like an idiot when i'm crawling my fingers up and down that little ladder on the wall.

i finally heard from my lawyer today. actually, i got a few forms in the mail. one was a medical report, and the other was some kind of disability report. now i hafta go and mail the medical form to my surgeon in fredericton and i don't even have any contact information on him. thank-you for making my life even more complicated. he didn't even respond to tell me if i'm getting my columbia coat and schoolbag replaced. they cost almost $600 yo! damn. damieon has my schoolbag because i made him pack it (as i had no room left in my suitcases) and then he forgot to give it back to me. he's now informed me that he's going to fix it and keep it for himself and i'm not allowed to have it. he can be such a jerk. but i told him that i need it for my lawyer to get me compensated and crap and maybe he'll be nice to me for once. actually, this all means i'm going to have to make a statement soon, so i'm going to do the same as kiki and make an entry about the whole accident. hopefully my mind hasn't gotten fuzzy about key points or anything. i really should have done this after everything happened but i was too pissed off with the world that nothing really mattered.

my dad had part of his toe cut off this afternoon. it got infected and got trapped under his toenail and spread. he wanted me to go and hold his hand but i was either gonna get sick or faint so i declined. he's now laying on the couch getting the pampering that he deserves. actually, i'm kind of ignoring him right now but he's watching the t.v. and is probably asleep anyway. we went for something to eat at a restaurant for lunch, since i couldn't believe i was already hungry. i had a poutine, and he was watching me eat, probably seeing if i could eat the cheese without getting it caught on my piercings. he can be such a dork sometimes.

he told me today that he registered me as his next of kin at the hospital in case of emergency. it's kind of unsettling, but also good. see, he's been making me his next of kin for a lot of things lately... beneficiary in his will (along with my sibs), collector on his life insurance. he's slowly cutting mother off from everything, that's what's good about it. but now i have all this responsibility on my shoulders and i don't know if i'll be the best for the job. i may be marie, but i'm not superwoman! anyway, he said he stated me as next of kin in the hospital because mom's never here. newsflash: i'm never here either, i go to college! but it's nice to know that he wants my mom out of the picture. if only he grew more of a brain and got a divorce. he says he can't afford it but i know he still hopes she'll have this revelation and come back to him. ugh, grown-ups... i never wanna be one.

and i just found out that bif's show in st. john's is going to be an open show. i'm getting really anxious about wanting to go now! open show, who could ask for more? no unbearable heat, no lack of oxygen! i really hope this whole thing works out. i need me some bif.

oooh, norman just logged on. i miss fredericton.

my doggies have to go to the vet tomorrow for their annual check-up and rabies shots. i'm not that worried about wishbone because she's a coward anyway. but meeko is easily intimidated and we're always forced to put a muzzle on him. he's pretty good otherwise, but i hate being the one to take him to the vet to be "tortured". at least it's good that we take him places in the car, or he'd be like one of those dogs that refers to the car as going to the vet and he'd never go in. actually, he likes the vet shop, he loves smells. but, i mean, would you want to be forced to be picked at and then have a piece of metal poked through your skin? (actually, i get that done a lot by CHOICE but that's a different story, hehe). last year, he was sick at his check-up, i can't remember why. the vet did an internal on him and made him poop, i'm pretty sure it was at least twice as uncomfortable for him as it was for me. i'm so sympathetic! anyway, meeko's got a clean bill of health right now as far as i can tell and he should only be bothered with shots. if there was any way he could get tablets, i'd do it. my poor baby.

it was such a beautiful afternoon. it wasn't warm and it was a bit windy... but damn was it sunny and gorgeous outside! i'd loved to have enjoyed it, but i got addicted to jen's and kiki's diaries. i always get busy with things at the worst times! it's all good though.

anyway, i'm off to check on my dad and then i'm gonna add a few other things. cause i'm just so cool like that.

i wish.

I'm wearing: "property of no one" hooded baby tee, stretch denim flared jeans, penguin socks
I'm listening to: dawn *bif naked*
I'm thinking: why the hell did my frikkin' nail have to break off?