i've been feeling kinda yucky again these past few days... i think i spoke too soon when i said my nausea had disappeared. no longer that i mentioned it went away, it came right back again. it's not there 24/7 though, which gives me a little break. i think i mostly get it when i'm eating though, even my favorite foods are starting to make me sick. do you think i could be dying? i'm such a hypochondriac sometimes. i haven't felt bloated like this in a while either... also, i haven't been gaining weight, but i feel like i'm getting fat. and this isn't good because i've been trying to NOT be fat, haha. but, i'm not gaining weight despite this huge appetite i've gotten. two meals a day people, it's a miracle.

anyway, i haven't heard from damieon since i picked him up from the airport on wednesday. he went back home on friday and i'm beginning to really spite the bastard. in a way i hope he never calls and he can be out of my life for good. but i also want him to call me so i can curse him out and hopefully make him feel (to some degree) like shit. besides, he still owes me 50 bucks and he's not getting away with that either.

i watched "it" last night. for the first time ever. can you believe that? it's not that i was too scared to watch it (scary movies?), it's just i never had access to it. and last night i decided to finally hunt it down and i found it at a video store for 2 bucks. someone taped a bit of flintstones over it, but it was pretty decent quality. and it was hilarious, i couldn't stop laughing. i still want to see night of the living dead again. i watched that when i was like 6 years old or something and it made me so scared i didn't want to go to bed by myself. haha. "brains, brains, more brains!" the 80's kicked ass.

did i mention that my mother is here in town, in my very house, as i type? she got here yesterday, and she promised that she wouldn't drink while she was here. she made it until suppertime today, and now she's drunk and just got off the phone with her boyfriend. i'm not entirely sure if it's such a great idea that she's here because we're all getting into stupid arguments already and the smell of her cigarettes makes me want to make a run for the bathroom. seriously. but it's nice not having to cook every day, you know?

oh, you should have been here yesterday. my sister's made it a point to disappear practically every day, and especially on fridays when she doesn't make it home at all until late sunday night. so yesterday my dad picked her up at school and brought her home. and he and my mom would NOT let her out. she was begging and begging and crying to go out, and they would not budge. i was actually pretty proud of my dad because this is the first time he's said no to her in god knows HOW long. and she was literally crying like a baby to go out. i'm guessing either to get stoned or drunk or laid, or a combination of the three. she eventually went to sleep i think. and today she made it a big point that she was sick and her eye was infected. so when no one was watching her, she got dressed and snuck out of the house. she won't be back for a while, but i figure there's no way to tame her wild ass. it's her funeral.

anyway, i'm bored so i'm gonna try and find something to do. but my room is about as clean as it's going to get and i really have nothing to do. blah.

I'm wearing: mickey nightgown, flannel robe, grey stripey socks
I'm listening to: only hope *mandy moore*
I'm thinking: it's always so cold in here