man, i'm tired...

i had a hectic, emotional, crazy day. it was melissa's birthday today, happy 20th chickie!

so peggy and i put her in the spotlight. we let her bitch however much she wanted, and we gave her presents. i got her this eyebrow ring she's wanted for months, she loved it. peggy got her a sweater, movie, and cd. ooh, and a rose, and a cake.

this evening we took her for a ride on one of those horse and buggies, it kicked ass. everyone was looking at us, but i loved the attention. i was waving at people, and pretending to be in a parade, because i'm such a goof. i also managed to nearly kill myself on the way over... i was wearing my four-inch heels, and peggy asked me the time. as i was looking at my watch, i didn't see the sidewalk coming, tripped up on it, and progressively fell, then rolled over, and landed on my back where i proceeded to laugh like an idiot for a few minutes. i got up and the whole left side of my body was killing me, i hit that concrete pretty damn hard! it was funny though, the girls laughed at me for ages, and i laughed at myself even longer.

after the horse ride, we took her to dinner at a mexican place. the food was great, and for her birthday, she had to put on a sombrero and get her picture taken. it was hilarious.

we came home, and i called home to wish my dog a happy 5th birthday (they have the same one, talk about weird). then i found out that my mother left town to go spend christmas with her boyfriend. so i flipped out. yes, i despise my mother and i'm glad she's not going to be home. but you know what? no matter how much of a bitch a mother can be, and how much you wish for them to be somewhere else... they're SUPPOSED to be there! i mean she hasn't seen me in four months, shouldn't she want to be there to see me? shouldn't she want to celebrate my birthday and christmas with me? does she even LOVE me?

i got off the phone and i cried my eyes out. melissa came over and hugged me, and comforted me, and the whole world came crashing down on me. i cried my poor eyes out.

so i had to be all smart and call justin up to see what the hell was going on. i called him on my cell and told him to call me back. guess what? he didn't. that pissed me off even more and i cried. and cried. and cried. melissa talked to me, and opened all these old wounds. about how i never had a childhood, and how my parents never really gave me a chance to live like a kid, and my mother's alcoholism. and the abuse i endured growing up. and i felt like total crap. i was pissed off at the whole world.

but then i started talking about bif naked (avoidance is my therapy) and then i started getting all happy again. damn, she's a total goddess. i've almost gotten melissa obsessed now too! she promised me that if bif ever comes here again, she'll go to the show with me. and we'll stay back, and we'll find a way to get bif to talk to me. and other stuff, hehe... but yeah, i'm waiting for her new tour dates to come out. she HAS to come back east again!

but i really should get going. i have this day thing planned with marilyn and i need sleep.

my feelings are all tired now, along with my eyes. blah.

I'm wearing:
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