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Sigh...
Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003
Marie is The current mood of canadianbabs@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

I have yet to mention how pissed I am with my hospital. You see, every routine pregnancy ultrasound is done at 18 weeks; it's the "best time" to do it as doctors say, the baby fits nicely onto the screen or something. So naturally, I'd be having mine in a week, right? HA. Try September 8th. I'll be 20 weeks by then, my already huge baby (you should see my belly) sprawling beyond the four corners of the ultrasound monitor. I am so sick of putting up with this bullshit. I still can't believe I had to wait three frikking MONTHS to get a follow-up ultrasound after I lost Brayden. I could have lost my uterus, or even life, to infection... but my hospital couldn't have cared. I need to know if that's my son or daughter kicking me from inside, this suspense is killing me. And since my credit card is mostly paid off now, I can actually get the rest of the baby stuff I need but I'm SO sick of gender neutrals. I hate being made to wait. And wait.

Anyway, this is my last week at summer fun day camp. I have eight kids left in my group and even though I'm going to miss their little asses, I am so unbelievably glad to be done with it. Seriously... Paige tried to bite the shit out of Matthew's arm today because he snatched playdough from her. These kids can be evil, I tell you. I don't know if I mentioned it or not but I got an offer from my bosses for a permanent job. Well, until the baby comes anyway. Maybe even afterwards too. But they also run a proper daycare for kids aged approx. 2-4 years old, and they gave me first picking on a position if I want it. It starts right after summer camp ends though and I've seriously been counting down the days to my freedom. I've been growing increasingly weaker lately too and I'm really starting to hate child daycare in general. Slap my own kid into my arms and I'll be fine but throw more than a dozen other kids that drive me INSANE half the time and it's a different story. Besides, we all know I was meant to fall in love with forensics. Or at least anthropology. But. We'll see. Money is money and I'm going to need as much of that as I can get.

Today, Paige told me I was wearing "cool" jeans. Then all the kids started commenting on them and Paige followed up with "cool jeans for a cool teacher". Haha, I really AM going to miss those punks.

I'm wearing: Long-sleeved baby tee, crocheted flares, star/stripe socks
I'm listening to: The wind, the world, ha
I'm thinking: I want a real desk chair, I DESERVE a real desk chair

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