okay, so the power's been flickering like crazy for the past few minutes, so the power might go out again. frankly, i'm quite scared that i'm gonna get electrocuted since i'm using my laptop and listening to music on headphones. and i'm connected to the internet... but i'm an idiot and would rather entertain myself with my insomniac friends than be safe.

so this is a pretty decent storm. worst i've seen in a while actually... our front door blew right open tonight! the roads have been awful and it's snowed quite a bit. i think it's actually worse when you still have power and lose your cable because it's more fun just having complete loss of entertainment.

of course, you've always hit a new low when you talk about the weather in your diary. even moreso when it's the first topic. but it's 4 a.m. and i'm allowed to talk about whatever i want. this is my diary is it not?

anyway. i've got to do this exercise for counselling, where i take negative triggers in my everyday life and map out the whole process right until the consequence. it's not fun, let me tell you. how the hell am i supposed to make everything fit together properly? am i even doing it properly? i'm supposed to do it until my next session on wednesday, but i'm not exactly sure how it's going to help. at least i'm doing it though, right? i really am going to try and put my best effort into all this. this is the first time i've ever asked for help and i want it to work out.

my dad had a ton of fits tonight concerning my sister. she's always missing, and this time he found out that she's hanging around with a few sluts and he's been worried that she's gonna get knocked up by an italian or a german (we live next door to an air base). so he was pacing around all night and snapping at my brother and i, and complaining about headaches and stomachaches. i think he finally reached his breaking point, and when she finally DID come home at 10:30 tonight (the first time we've seen her in two days), he freaked out. he started bitching her right out, took her glasses away from her stating they were only for school, rendering the poor girl half-blind. he also hid her coat and sneakers in my room, not realizing she has other coats and shoes, but yeah, he figured that would keep her home. he said she was on the verge of being sent away... then she just kinda started talking like nothing happened, the whole situation disappeared, and they were hugging like that whole drama was a figment of my imagination and everything was back to normal. i hate it when he does that. he lets her off with everything, i swear. he has double standards for my brother/sister and for me. i'd never get away with nearly half the stuff they do, it's so damn frustrating.

why does everything have to frustrate me so much?

I'm wearing: flannel pj's, butterfly socks
I'm listening to: you were meant for me *jewel*
I'm thinking: i hope the power doesn't go out