my girlie hormones must be screwed up as hell because everything's been making me cry and i can't stop anymore. i bet if you put the babe movie on, i'll be crying. or it could be the fact that i had counselling today and my counsellor broke my exterior shell. but i opt it's the hormones, that excuse always works.

so damieon came here today. what have we done? nothing at all. what's he doing right now? fuck if i know, he's probably stoned out of his gob, but i could really care less because i want to cut his balls off. wanna hear the story? no? well, it's my diary so screw you. i had counselling this afternoon and i had to rush to the airport to go and make it for his flight. well, we ended up having to wait an extra half-hour because it was delayed, but he finally got here. he had two suitcases and a box, all weighing nearly 300 pounds. i bumped my forehead on the frikkin corner of the trunk putting away one of his suitcases... i've got a sexy lump there now. anyway, he wanted us to take him to the hospital so he could drop his big things off, and then we had earlier planned on going out to dinner so we could talk and spend some 1 on 1 time together. well, he didn't want to do that anymore, he had no money. he couldn't save ten fucking dollars? he didn't even want to go somewhere for a fucking coffee. so then he wanted to ditch me, he just got me to drop him off where he was staying. he said he'd come over after supper so we could catch up. but i knew it wasn't going to happen and i went home, made some rice and cried myself to sleep.

see, he's been like this ever since i knew him. i can never tell when he's lying or telling the truth... i can never tell when he's going to change his mind for whatever reason. i can never count on him 100% because he gets distracted so easily. and more than anything else, he has this talent for pissing me off or making me feel like shit to his advantage.

i've been crying off and on all night since i woke up. and i've been eating out of comfort, which i never even noticed before. i'm so pissed off with him right now because he makes me feel like shit, and he makes me feel like i'm lucky to have his friendship. i'd say that i don't know why i put up with this shit, but i do know. friends are hard to find around here. especially for me since i hate going to bars and shit like that. he wants me to go barhopping with him tomorrow night but fuck him. he's going to hear it this time because he doesn't deserve my friendship the way he treats me. i'm sick of this shit.

i argued with my dad tonight because i've been so pissed with damieon. i haven't even talked to my dad... i snapped at him because of the computer, and when he went to bed he didn't even say good night to me. i'm scared that i'm falling apart and nothing's ever going to get better. i'm sick of this shit.

I'm wearing: adidas baseball tee, stretchy flares, purple stripey socks
I'm listening to: t.v. baby *bif naked*
I'm thinking: fuck the world