hmmm, up late again. i'm really going to have to get myself into a decent schedule again so i don't go to sleep at 7 a.m. and wake up at 3:00 p.m. maybe then i won't keep forgetting about days of our lives... what's been going on with that anyway?

so i got up today (yesterday, whatever) and had this huge cleaning bug. i washed the sink full of dishes, then cleaned part of the living room, and the kitchen. completely cleaned the bathroom, and then tackled my brother's and sister's room. the latter was a HUGE feat. garbage and toys and papers and books and clothes and whatnot... everywhere. you couldn't even see the floor! they even had things crammed in the weirdest places. i got attacked by a stinkbug and nearly died in his stench. found a bunch of stuff that my sister stole out of my room. when i was younger, this would get me really mad... i believed that she had no right in taking my things and ruining them. but she's never going to change... she's always going to steal my stuff. so now i just take whatever i can find and not have a stroke when i see that she's ruined it or whatever. life goes on.

anyway, i must have spent like eight hours cleaning. i even forgot to eat, but had two helpings of my fried rice and then had this huge craving for coffee. i'd make instant coffee, but it's more fattening than drip coffee so i never touch the stuff. but yet again, i'll eat potato chips and go for chocolate brownie frappucchinos and consume insane amounts of coke (well, one or two a day) but then i gripe over instant coffee. i never make sense anyway.

well, right about the time when i needed a caffeine fix, my dad asked me if i wanted to go to timmy's. yay, mochas! we left at 2:30 a.m. and stayed until 4:00. i saw justin look-alike working, and knew they wouldn't have two guys working that looked quite alike (why would they want to confuse the customers? hehe). so i relaxed and knew i wouldn't have to watch over my shoulder and hope i wouldn't get into some stupid argument with him. jerk. my dad and i debated over anthropological issues and talked about how crappy pants have become these days... they wear out so easily. my dad still thinks that maybe one day, my mom will come back here. and actually stay, and want to be our mom again. i know it's not going to happen (and i'm also glad it won't), and deep down, he must know it too. i guess he just doesn't want to admit it to himself. he must get so lonely, without a woman in his life. i know i am! damn, i'd take just about anyone right now... being single for four months CAN'T be good for you. not for me anyway.

my fish died yesterday. my sister nearly cried and i told her off for being so silly. it was my first fish and being a university fish, he moved around a LOT, and endured 4 commutes by plane. he endured loud music and sporadic (but ample) feedings. but i guess this last trip home didn't do well on him and he stopped eating and starved himself to death, the poor thing. dad thinks he got too old, but is nine months old for a fish? it seems pretty young. i don't know. they're already talking about new fish and i just flushed $7 of fish down the toilet yesterday. seems like a waste. my dog's 5.5 years old and at least i can have fun with him. and he's smart, he can eat from utensils all danity-like and knows when i'm talking about him. he ALWAYS sleeps with his head on pillows when he can, likes it when i sing to him and massage him behind his ears and under his collar, and he loves balls so much he'd probably die for one. what kind of fish could top that?

my weight's been pissing me off a lot lately. i weighed somewhere around 120 lbs when i got to fredericton. i came back here and i weighed 133 lbs! i nearly died! i've since dropped down to around 129 lbs, but i can't shed the rest off. summer's here and my old body isn't. grrr. going out and moving around would help, and having a car really takes away from all the walking i was forced to do in fredericton. maybe i can shed a bit more off before i go to europe, and then be forced to eat weird food out there and not snack and then come back as good as gold. haha i wish. but i'm really going to try anyway.

my dad told me i should fix people's computers for them, and they could pay me under the table. i don't think i'm that confident in myself. give me a bunch of computer parts and i can make a computer... but if there's some stupid problem, it usually pisses me off when i can't fix it. i don't think people would appreciate it when i give their computer back with a bootprint.

i've also been told i should write books. i've always been told that i have a unique writing style and that i can make mundane things interesting. but would you really pick up a book of mine? i don't think everyone would appreciate my cursing, because i don't have the patience to think up non-cuss words.

lots of people said i should pursue art. i have a really good knack for detailed sketches and using my imagination to make these crazy paintings and such. but who can survive off a painter's career? what good is money after you're dead?

so maybe i should just stick to my dream of being a psychologist. stick to what you know, right?

mmmm, alanis morissette. gotta love that girl.

I'm wearing: over-sized nightie
I'm listening to: all by myself *c�line dion*
I'm thinking: damn it's getting sunny outside!