i can't write long, i'm dead tired and i have to get up for my sister's air cadets parade tomorrow. dammit i wish i could crawl under a rock for a while.

apparently, my birth mother tried to call me around 7:45 this morning. my dad answered and told her that i probably just went to sleep (he thinks he's so funny) and didn't bother waking me up. i'm glad he didn't, because she's got a split presonality, and i don't want anything to do with her. he said she didn't sound drunk but i don't see any reason for her to call me otherwise. either that, or she was feeling pity for herself (or me) or both. i don't know. my dad kicks ass for not waking me up.

i got my dvd player. then we decided to go to the canex on the base to look at all their lovely imported foods. and then we found the exact same dvd player $40 cheaper than the one we'd just bought. if i wasn't so lazy, i would have brought back the other one and gotten it at the canex instead. that way, my original sin dvd would have been "free". grrr. i'm also getting foxfire and gia on dvd from amazondotcom. i'll get my angelina collection, just you wait and see.

i saw angela at the canex as well... i hadn't seen her in ages. it's her 20th birthday today and she had to work, and then this evening she said she was babysitting. it must suck to be her, but she's sick and didn't really mind. i remember when we were kids and we lived in the same building on the base. we'd go out back into the woods. we had this little fort thingy, and would set up a mini store. we paid for our stuff with rocks and shingles, hehe. and i was always jealous of her because she had a lite brite and i didn't.

marilyn's going to come through here next friday. she's only going to be around for a few days, but it'll be nice to see her again. i haven't spent time with her since before christmas, and i'll get to see her baby belly! hopefully i've helped her out with the name situation.

i had a blow-up argument with justin on msn today. he messaged me first, and he immediately asked if i'd found a g/bf yet (does this mean he's *grr* still interested in me?) i told him no, and he said i could have a boyfriend but i'd fucked things up. i blew up right at this moment. i told him i did NOT fuck anything up, that it was his fault. he wanted to know why, so i replied by re-capping the situation: he'd been trying to control my life, was always mad at me for being out with my friends and having fun, was jealous of ALL my guy friends, and hated the fact that my best friend was a guy. then when i came back and we were going to start seeing each other, he started all the shit with jeannie. which, by the way, i'm not even sure if they're a couple anymore. so he rebuttled by saying that he said everything he did because i didn't even do anything at university and i was always out partying. i told him that i DID get all my work done, and that at least I was going to university (unlike him). he got mad and started saying how i never went or did my work. i was furious by now, and told him that i DID go, and i DID do my work and he had no right to say what he did since it wasn't even true. he got childish and started telling me that he heard i was saying some shit, and i backed myself up. he brought the university topic up again, i got sick of him... and then blocked him. damn did it feel good. of course my nerves were shot for the next hour, but i had closure. or avoidance, or whatever you'd like to call it. but i'm NOT putting up with his shit anymore. i tried calling damieon afterwards to relay it all to him, but he was out. he's going to be ever-so proud of me.

i've also finally gotten off my lazy-scanning ass and uploaded a few pictures. i've found a few pictures of me from two summers ago to boost my motivation to lose weight... and a few pictures from when i was a tot.

didn't i look overjoyed to have my sister enter my life (look at my rolled-up jeans... punky brewster was my idol). i never did (and never will) have any bond with her, it's definite now. but still, i do everything possible (well, ALMOST everything possible) for her. yesterday, i wasted all my aussie hair spray preserving her stupid prom carnation. do i get any thanks? no. dammit.

anyway, i said i wouldn't write long, and here i am 15 minutes later, ranting my poor little heart out. but i'm feeling really nauseous and i've got a headache, so i'm heading off to bed.

i hope the parade isn't as boring as the prom was.

I'm wearing: *property of no one* hooded baby tee, flared stretch denim jeans, tigger socks
I'm listening to: oi! to the world *no doubt*
I'm thinking: i think i'm going to be sick...