so, here's my drama right now...

it's a known fact that i've become terribly homesick. i think just about everyone knows, and i don't care who i tell anymore at this point. i cried on the phone to my dad tonight, and he wants to come out and cheer me up so badly, but it's damn near impossible.

well right now, it looks as though damieon is going back to labrador before the week is out. his grandfather's dying, and isn't expected to live much longer. as much as i know he needs to go back, i don't want him to. i don't want him to because he's my support right now. we were going through this battle together, and in some twisted way, we've connected.

this may sound weird, but last night as i laid on his bed with him, i asked to stay the night. not in some sexual way, just so i wouldn't be alone in bed. we'd done it all through march break and it's natural to us. i really felt i needed to stay there that night, like that was how it was supposed to be. the next morning, we woke up to a phone call that his grandfather was unresponsive, and that damieon should get back as soon as possible. isn't that weird? and then we both told each other that we had a dream about driving recklessly. does that have anything to do with the way we're running our lives right now? i don't know, it was some weird stuff.

i know i've completely lost my train of thought because i'm concentrating so hard on being quiet (my roommate's alseep)... but i really don't want to finish this semester on my own. yes, i have friends who'll be there for me, but i don't feel comfortable around them like i do with damieon. i can cry in front of him, and that's a rare thing... he's the only guy i let myself cry in front of besides my dad. hell, i can even see myself getting into a relationship with him though i'm positive that'll never happen just because i don't see it working. ever.

but i don't know what i'm going to do without him.

i wish things could just get easy on me for once.

more comprehensive ramblings tomorrow (i hope).

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