Have I mentioned that this pregnancy is completely wiping me out? Have I mentioned that I can't get through the day without at least one nap?! It's a bitch I'm tellin' you.

I went to see my doctor yesterday to confirm my pregnancy and all that fun stuff. All she really did was take my blood pressure and weight, and give me my due date (January 27th). I have my first prenatal on June 23rd, where I get to go for another pap (whoopi) and bloodwork and the whole works. And also, I have tendonitis in my left thumb. It is painful and makes me swear.

I'm trying to do a half-assed job at starting a diary for the baby. I say this knowing fully well that I have yet to write an entry and create all the links etc. I swear, it's like the crap energy level I had before has diminished down to like, 3% or something. I'd sleep all day if I could but I'd end up having to pee half a million times a day and I figure it'd be more agitating having to get out of bed when I've just gotten comfortable... so yeah, that sucks.

Anyway, let's rewind about 5 weeks. This is when I thought Justin and I actually had some twisted future together. Alas, I attract the guys that just love to fuck things up. I can't remember what it was anymore, but something caused this little argument and I was determined to phase him out of my life again. Then; my mother's eye surgery came up. She flew into town where she picked me up and we flew out to a bigger hospital to get a cataract taken from her eye. I was expecting Aunt Flo around then, but it never came. I already had pregnancy symptoms even before I was due for my period... I tried to make myself believe that I'd caught some imaginary flu, heh. So when I was two days late and I'd passed some pregnancy tests in Walmart, I picked out the cheapest one I could find just to put my mind to rest. Ha. Positive!

I came back to town nearly a week later, hoping that Justin would beg me to see him again before he left. I wanted to see him freak out because I sure as hell wasn't happy about things... I was trying to get my ass back to university! So that same day I got back, sure enough, he was asking me over. I brought the test along and handed it to him, to which he asked "Is it mine?". Ass. He's gone now, to Newfoundland. He plans on moving to China in four months; he was offered a job there teaching English as a second language. A guy who can't even spell "awesome". He'll probably get SARS or something, his immune system isn't as good as mine is. Anyway, he says he'll send money every now and then, and that his family must never know about the baby. I doubt he'll ever see "my" baby, as he puts it. It doesn't bother me, it just breaks my heart that my child will never know his/her biological dad. To not be acknowledged... that's how my biological dad is but I couldn't give a fuck because I've got MY dad, and he's a million times better than my bio dad could ever be.

I went to a posh banquet tonight and I must have yawned a few thousand times. I've recently discovered that I can't curl my legs up to my chest comfortably anymore... if I have two kiddos in my tummy I think I'll just drop dead.

I'm tired.

I'm wearing: Snazzy dress-up shirt, velour pants, purple stripey socks with stars
I'm listening to: Work it remix *Missy*
I'm thinking: My ass hurts, I want a real desk chair...