i just hit the buddy list link three times in a row because i dread writing an entry. why? because it requires thinking, and typing... and i want to go to sleep dammit. "normal" people should be sleeping long before 3:14 a.m. hell, not-normal people should be sleeping long before 3:14 a.m. and especially me, with all my shit, and my days getting longer and longer due to all the crap going on in my life. sleep is such a luxury for me.

anyway, i got a bit of stuff done today. the doctor's office called at 4:30 in the afternoon. they started giving me shit... basically, my surgeon has to write a letter for my sponsoring organization, and fill out a medical form for my lawyer. here's their response: they HAVE my letter and form done (and wow, it only took them THREE weeks to do that... what troopers!), BUT they won't give them out until they have the 70 fucking dollars. i need my letter tomorrow, i told you that over three weeks ago! i started getting firm at this point, but the bitch wouldn't budge. like i couldn't be held resposible over $70 (for two pieces of paper, damn). so i called my lawyer and he's going to pay them, get my stuff faxed out tomorrow, and hopefully this will all work out. because my lawyer kicks ass.

and before this little episode, i had a drama going on over this letter in the first place. the deadline for my appeal is tomorrow, and i was waiting on this letter from my surgeon. i figured he'd never get in touch, so i was going to use my doctor here as a back-up. i call the hospital... and she's on vacation. what luck! so i ask if i can see another doctor so he can look over my file and substitute for a letter. no openings for appointments until september. fuck me!

but hopefully, tomorrow will work itself out and i can breathe just a teeny bit easier.

i'm supposed to be leaving on tuesday with melissa and peggy. but now that i have a loan ($6,000) i'm wondering if i should spring for a plane ticket anyway. this way, i don't leave so freaking early and i don't spend two days on the road (with three cats in the back). also, i'll get to spend more time with damieon, and i can bring more stuff out there with me (let's hope i don't have to bring a bunch of stuff out anyway). i'm so stressed out about everything it's not funny. i have to make this decision a.s.a.p. though because i need two weeks to find a good ticket. i'll try and get an estimate tomorrow, after i go to the bank and apply for a line of credit to pay off my credit card bill (it's nearing the $1,000 mark now, quite scary).

see, i'm a busy little girl! i've also been trying to upload all my vacation pictures into an online photo album, it's proving to be QUITE a task. there's 130+, so you guys better appreciate them, dammit! i've got three sections done so far, but i won't post the address until i've got them all up. so build the suspense!

i saw jesse tonight, one of my exes. it was quite awkward, but i'll fill you in on my next entry because my body needs sleep.

i know i'm leaving a bunch of stuff out but it's late and i don't care. i'll enlighten you tomorrow when a bit of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. trust me, i'll be in a much better mood tomorrow.

hopefully.

I'm wearing: tank top, stu scrubs
I'm listening to: leader *bif naked*
I'm thinking: i hate this weather