i have class in 50 minutes. for once i'm glad cause i'd otherwise lose my sanity. usually, having a 3 hour break between classes doesn't bore the hell outta me, but today i'm about to go nuts. maybe it's the fact that i've had two coffees, a chocolate bar and an energy pill or two since 7 a.m. this morning.

or the fact that i'm getting sick and tired of being single. or the fact that marilyn and i aren't really friends anymore. or that she ruined my thanksgiving weekend and re-surfaced my long-buried depression. or the fact that i just wanna go home to my dad's house, my house, crawl into my bed with my dog and never wake up.

i wish i could blame it all on pms.

but, on a lighter note... um... is there a lighter note? i guess not. i have to go to the mall today and buy myself another tongue barbell. i broke my new one playing with it too much, so i'm wearing my blacklight-sensitive one. and i don't wanna break that one so i have to find a steel one. sorry for not making any sense, but i'm kind of wired right now.

melissa made me talk about all kinds of things on sunday. really heavy stuff that i'm not sure you'd wanna hear. about my upbringing, and all the troubles i went through growing up... physical, sexual, mental, emotional abuse, neglect... the whole nine yards. i need to figure out how to deal with it all, as i bottled every bit of it up and now it's haunting the crap outta me. and all my midterms start next week and i haven't started my readings yet. woo. anyone wanna switch places with me for a bit?

need to go and find somebody. even if it's just to look at them. haha.

i'll be happy next time i write, i swear. or at least i'll attempt it. i need to be happy.

love you.

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