look at the freaking time. i've been up for a half hour and i have an 8:30 class. but i really have to thank marilyn for letting me fall asleep on the recliner again, after i told her not to let me fall asleep. but she just couldn't do that. she had to leave the apartment all messy and gross, and then leave the tv blasting too. she didn't even put the freaking parmesan cheese in the fridge. primate. sorry, it's my lack of sleep talking. but the apartment isn't clean so that has to be done before i go back to sleep. and then i have to get everything ready for the morning, like i do every night. i'll pour up two bottles of water, put them in the freezer, get my lunch bag ready. go to the bathroom, put my body wash in the shower and a towel on the rack, turn on the heat and close the door. go to my room, pull out my pj's, clothes for tomorrow, some snacks for school, my books. then i come out here, leave my schoolbag by the closet, and go to the bathroom, take out my contacts, brush my teeth, rinse. go back into my room, put drops in my eyes, crawl into bed and hope that i might get some decent sleep.

every single night. i have rituals for everything. maybe someday i'll tell you about getting ready in the mornings *joy* but i have some updating to do before i finish cleaning and getting ready and hopefully getting another half hour sleep before getting up for the day.

well. i went to university this morning (almost froze, it was -1 and i cursed the whole way to the bus stop, and because the bus was late my poor ears were burning in pain!), and for some reason, seeing her in anthropology class (i won't bother saying her name anymore) really put me in a good mood. she looked good. i talked a lot with blonde girl. it's pitiful that i don't even know her name and i talk with her every class. we even sit together. but i found out she's vegan. and that she went to toronto for thanksgiving weekend. i told her about my crap weekend, and we talked about a lot actually.

then i had economics, and i was hyper. i don't know what brought it on. i laughed all through class and everyone was looking at me like i was crazy. it felt good though, and i pretty much stayed in that mood all day.

as i'd predicted, marilyn didn't bother coming to class at all. i sort of glazed over in native studies and counted down the minutes until class was out.

melissa and peggy came over here to use the phone, and marilyn was home cleaning (wtf? well actually, she only cleaned with cleaning products: the place is still a mess and the mirrors look absolutely awful). i asked her why she hadn't gone to school and her excuse was that she was on the bus and some guy was doing something to gross her out and make her sick. hello? i go to school depressed out of my head for the past week, and some guy grosses you out by spitting in a cup and you don't go school? loser.

so melissa, peggy, and i left for the mall. i had to get a new tongue barbell and they had to get some tobacco. we passed by sarah's store to see if she was working. and she was. well, let me explain.

i couldn't tell if it was her or not, so we just went in. and after melissa kept prodding me (i couldn't figure out if it was actually her or not), i said it was and went up to talk to her. and we talked... so melissa and peggy left for another store, and checked back in on me 15 minutes later with huge grins on their faces and said they were leaving. well, i found out she had a boyfriend. all i could think was "you fucking flirt!" why the hell would she flirt with me when she had a boyfriend? so i left not long after that. then it all hit me. her hair was too dark, she was too short, her nose was too wide, her face was too wide, and her voice was a bit different. it wasn't even sarah! i laughed my ass off! haha. so, there's still hope. and now i have the guts to talk to her. and hey, i have a new friend, sort of. we talked about everything! the poor customers were left doing things in the store while i hogged all her attention.

but that was my little drama for the day. i went and bought this kick-ass barbell, baby blue steel with a big white rhinestone in the ball (well, after putting it in i find it's way too long and gives me this awful lisp, not like my other one isn't bad enough). oh well. now i have to get another one. this one was nice too. and i still don't have a job.

i also went to chapters and bought another vegetarian cookbook (yummy stuff in there!), a book by malachy mccourt (frank's brother for those of you who aren't really into that kind of stuff and think i'm dumb for getting his name wrong), and hearts in atlantis. no, i'm not buying into advertising. i read it about a year ago back in college. adored it. and bought it impulsively, seeing as it was 30% off with my discount card anyway. saw her working in starbucks. mmm.

by the time i left chapters, i got myself a warm pretzel and figured i'd have enough time to catch the bus. i came out and it was just pulling away, so i had to take another and transfer. and then the transfer just came right back to the mall! grr! i was on the bus for 45 minutes when could have been looking around in the new clothing store that had opened.

i came home eventually, called melissa and told her what an idiot i'd been with "sarah". hehe. tried to confront marilyn but she was just acting like a kid about it all, and then declared that she was moving out next month.

you don't know what a relief that is. it lifts this HUGE weight off my shoulders and now i know everything's going to be great. yum. i'll give more details about all that tomorrow i guess.

i bought us veggie pizzas around 9, and for the first time in my life i had a lady deliver pizza to me (yes, i come from hicktown). i attempted the selena meal, eating a whole medium pizza by myself. except i didn't take into fact that i don't have the stomach or metabolism for it and nearly puked after four slices. and now my tummy's not so flat anymore. haha. i feel like the pillsbury doughboy. i'm really sticking to my diet aren't i? i don't think i'll ever get to my goal weight. 100 seems so far away (fyi, i'm short and 100 isn't going to kill me, i'm 5'3"). i think i'm somewhere around 115 considering i really haven't gained any weight since i came here (i lost it if anything), i'm proud that i haven't fallen into that weight gain trap college students seem to get sucked into every year.

i called my dad, and found out my mother left for her boyfriend again. she only goes to my dad for money and a break from the beatings. i really don't know why he puts up with it and i'm glad i'm not there. but, there wasn't a whole lot to talk about, so i just told him i'd call again soon. then marilyn came out with the blanket from tha spare room and put it on me while i was in the recliner. i told her not to do it cause i'd fall asleep. but no, she had to go and have her cigarette, and leave the fucking door open and let the heat out while letting the cold in and i curled up and fell asleep. and instead of waking me up, she left the hugest dirtiest goddamn disgusting mess, left the t.v. blasting, and went to sleep herself. so here i am, at 4:44, hoping to god i'll be able to get a half hour sleep after i clean the apartment up after her yet again.

but yeah, i need sleep. i'll try and give you more details tomorrow (there's loads more to talk about? you poor readers *btw, i'm going crazy without my stats!*) after history but i have a paper to write and mid-terms to study for so i won't give you any promises. besides, you should get a lollipop just for sitting through this entry. have you made it?

congrats.

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