Bless whoever invented flannel. I've been forced to live in the stuff for the past week because it's so damn cold right now! Anyway, I have a major headache and sore throat from watching the game with my little brother. You know, hockey. My team lost to his in overtime. And it was such a stupid goal, it bounced off the goddamn post and ricocheted into the net. The third period though, awww. It was awesome.

So, today is a little anniversary of mine. At this time last year, I would have been somewhere in between the E.R. and my room in the frikkin pediatrics ward. At this time last year, I was thoroughly medicated with morphine though it did nothing but make me high as a kite. At this time last year, I was most likely crying and freaking out over the fact that I would need surgery for the first time in my life. I was hit by a car exactly a year ago.

I've got a lot of mixed feelings about it. I could have died that night... I could have been brain damaged or paralzyed, or affected by a small handful of other various disasters. But here I am.

There are three basic types of people when it comes to shit like this... the type that sees a near-death experience as a gift and finds a whole new meaning in life. There are others who count their lucky stars and just go on with life with a bit more appreciation. And then there are those who are pissed off at the world that stuff like this happens to them. Which one am I? I'm all three. On a good day, I'll be glad to be alive, to still be here to enjoy the luxury of life. On a normal day, I'll look at it like any other bad thing that happened to me and think nothing of it. And on a bad day, I'll be resentful... pissed off because the car accident stopped my life in its tracks and changed the whole outcome of everything.

I guess most people are like that... emotions can change everything. But I would have liked to be the person who saw the light, knew the answers. What have I managed to do in the whole year since my accident? Nothing. I'm not really any further ahead in life than I was, and it's sort of depressing. Yes, I finally admitted to myself that I needed help in controlling my depression. But what do I have to show for the past year except for some ugly scars on my arm? Nothing.

I will move on though, as I always have. My life will get better and I'll look at that accident as a blindfold taken off my eyes. I just hope it comes sooner than later. But right now I have to hunt down some *gasp* tylenol because my head is almost pounding. Today actually happens to be my mother's birthday as well (what a coincidence) so there's no doubt she'll be calling tonight. I'm hungry too, I haven't eaten since last night. I think I could eat a horse!

I'm wearing: Flannel pj's, butterfly slippers
I'm listening to: Lucky *Bif Naked*
I'm thinking: Ow, my head