Man, it's been really crazy around here. Whenever I had time to come on here and write, I was too tired to do so. So, let's see if my brain still functions...

Saturday was supposed to be fun but I should know by now that nothing ever works out properly in my life. My brother, mother, along with Mother's friend and daughter had planned a fishing trip. We went out on the river with two ski-doos, and I was actually hoping for a nice day. Well, Andrea (Mother's friend) ended up taking us on thin ice. I was not pleased AT ALL, especially as we passed open water. My mother was pissed, but everyone knows Andrea is a complete dumbass. At least we didn't break through the ice because I have no idea how many lives I have left. And the bitch drove slow as hell! THEN she stopped to "cool off" and her ski-doo siezed up. Not fun. We eventually got to Andrea's "preferred" fishing spot and the idiots couldn't even drill a damn hole through the ice. They must have spent nearly an hour trying to drill holes while I found an abandoned one and used that instead. No fish. Grrrr. We decided to head home after an hour or so, but then we realized ski-doo #2 wouldn't start. What. A. Bitch. Eventually we flagged someone down to take my brother and I back, whilst calling my father on their cellphone to pick us up. Eventually, we had to find someone to tow our machines back and blah, the day was a bust. It wasn't too nice hearing about someone drowning on the same river just this morning. That so easily could have been me.

This is where my mind gets a little fuzzy... my days usually run into each other and I can't figure out what happened when. The house has literally been busting at the seams, I have no idea how we've accumulated all this shit! I can guarantee that once my mother leaves town and I've got the mornings all to myself, I'll be doing some major spring cleaning (or in my case, dumping/giving to the salvation army etc). Maybe I'll even be able to free up the room downstairs. That would require a miracle, but I can see it happening. Hopefully.

I was shocked shitless the other night; Lisa-Marie called me. And then she informed me that she was here in town! I couldn't believe it, I hadn't talked to that girl properly in over a year. So, I made her fill me in on everything; she's been living in Toronto for around four months or so... she could have been dead for all I knew, she doesn't even have a phone. I even finally found out about her next of kin: Brianna Felicia Lynn, born November 15th. I don't even know how to talk about that; I was pregnant with Brayden while she was pregnant with Brianna... it's a tad hard for me not to get too emotional. The night she called I ended up being in this really bad funk, tears constantly threatening to pour out. Lisa-Marie's leaving again on Thursday and I'll eventually be seeing her and Brianna... how am I not going to resent that innocent little baby of hers? Will I be able to keep my tears back then? Am I even going to be able to touch her? I made sure not to touch little Romaine, I would have been a wreck. I haven't LET myself come in contact with babies since I miscarried, I don't know if I can handle that. How am I going to tell Lisa-Marie about Brayden? Will I even be able to tell her? Will she even care? I hate not knowing things, I hate not having control in every possible situation. Damn mental problems.

Go and tell Andrew to put that switch-diary-account feature up, I'm sick and tired of being locked. I mean, you have no idea.

Thank-you very much Damieon. Ass.

I'm wearing: Low-cut knit long-sleeved shirt, flared jeans, flower socks, flower slippers
I'm listening to: D.J. D.J. *The Transplants*
I'm thinking: I ate too much