Okay, this can't be long, I have to keep reminding myself that. I have my first real second round of couseling tomorrow in less than 12 hours. Somewhere in that timeslot I have to sleep and get bathed and ready, but before that I have to; fold laundry, tidy up a crapload of stuff, make a dream journal of everything I've dreamt from the last 2+ weeks (another oops), try to write down any questions I want to ask her or any comments, which I didn't do for my doctor's appointment this morning (yet another oops)... Tomorrow's garbage day so I have to round all that up, and try to make it look like a tornado hasn't torn through my room. You have NO idea how much that's driving me crazy, but I haven't had time to keep my room orderly, or pick out my fall courses (am I allowed another oops?), or even cook. So yeah. Maybe I'll just finish this entry off, dump the clean laundry in my closet, write a half-assed dream journal and crawl into bed. That's what I'd like to do, that doesn't mean I'll actually get to do it. I was also supposed to go and talk to the manager at the daycare today too, but I didn't sleep last night and by then I could hardly keep my eyes open. Tomorrow, after my counseling session... I hope.

Anyway, I saw my doctor this morning. She said I looked great (too bad I didn't weigh any less than the 115 lbs I'm stuck at right now), and that things seemed to be going okay albeit my never-ending dramas with my family members. But she still thought I could be feeling better with the Zoloft and I am now up to 200mg a day, the highest daily dose... yay. I'll just maintain that I have a very efficient system. And she laughed when I told her the next increased dosage before she could look it up on her palm pilot. Do all the other patients not even bother to do some of their own research on the drugs they let strangers pump into their bodies? She seemed pretty surprised that I knew about it all, and that's somewhat scary to me. She also tried to convince me (AGAIN) about going on the pill. Have I not drilled it into her head over the past... four years, that I don't want those damn hormones? I really feel guilty enough about the Zoloft. I think this was her last attempt at bullying me into it though because she didn't even try to argue with me this time. I know the pros and cons, I do my research. She also laughed when she saw the book I'd brought to read while waiting; The complete idiot's guide to being vegetarian. She was like, "just don't eat meat!" and I replied with "it's a lot more complicated than that" and then when I told her about my little episodes of almost blacking out and my hands/feet going numb and tingly for no reason... she tried blaming it on me not getting enough B12 in my diet (if that's not a run-on sentence, I don't know what is!). Excuse me, but I eat a wide variety of healthy food, don't bullshit me! She said it was because of my vegetarianism, and I again said that wasn't it. So she got concerned and sent me for bloodwork to check on my counts. I have no idea when I'll get the results or even HOW to get them, but I'm hoping the lab calls me tomorrow or something. Please send me normal CBC vibes... I'm too healthy to have something wrong with me.

I'm falling asleep, so I should start my "chores", but I'd like to mention the parcel I got today from my Sari... a beautiful (BLUE!) blanket she crocheted for me, and the sweetest little stuffed baby bunny she got me for Brayden. I love getting stuff in the mail, it makes my day. Thanks Hon!

Off to bust my ass now... let's hope I get a minimal amount of sleep so I don't look like crap tomorrow/today.

I'm wearing: Long-sleeved baby tee, double-button flared jeans, penguin socks, flower slippers
I'm listening to: Walk by *Good Charlotte*
I'm thinking: There's SO much to do!