Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Dad, happy birthday to you! My dad has hit 62, which kinda irks me 'cause he ruined our family's palindromes (is that spelled right?). My sister and dad: 16-61, my brother and I: 12-21 I'm too lazy to calculate, but I'm guessing that'll never happen again. Yes, I am a dork. I gave him a card and wrote in a little quote, "Birthdays are good for you... statistics show that the people with the most live the longest". He chuckled. I swear, I don't know what I'd do without him. I made him a fruitcake and decorated it at 4 in the morning. He thought it was so pretty that he initially didn't even want to cut it. He's silly. So, his dad = my Opa, called from Switzerland... or was it Germany? Either he or my aunt were on a road trip. Anyway, my opa is a NUT. He gave this big spiel about how it really is too late to try and learn the violin, because the beginning requires "vigorous" lessons and I could be deterred quite easily. That I'm too old for it and I might not have the dedication for it. Then when I told him there probably weren't any people in town that could teach me, he sighed and went on another speech about how I shouldn't teach myself the violin, etc. Our family has learned to let him go on with his arguments and just agree with him or else he'll never shut up. He did, however, enlighten me of the fact that he made my dad play the cello when he was a kid. The mental picture alone is enough to send me into little laughing fits.

My little brother is two nerves away from getting a big slap in the head. I swear to God this boy thinks I should kiss his royal ass and let him do/say whatever he wants. This evening he took out six milkbones and tried to feed them to the dogs. I told him to put them back because they only needed one each and giving them any more was unhealthy (they have sugar in them, but in all reality I share my fruit and pb&j sandwiches with my doggie, but it's the morality!). Anyway, he spazzed out and said I was a skitz (I wish he would use his words properly) and said I'm always bossing him around and told me to fuck off. He ended up storming off into his room and going to sleep. I am actually considering starting time-outs with him. Haha, this is going to be fun, him being 12 years old and all... he does watch Blue's Clues though. But what the hell can I do? I'm also encouraging him to "expand [his] vocabulary". That poor boy, I should make him read the dictionary or something. I try to incorporate different words into everything, ie. "Martin, don't do that if you know it's coming! I don't appreciate you farting in our immediate proximity if you can help it. Go and release your toxic fumes in the bathroom so as to relieve us from absolute disgust." Haha, it's quite funny observing the expression on his face, but someone's gotta do it.

I have a deathwish on my sister too... she snuck out of the house today with my ultimate platforms; I'm guessing they've got a good 5-inch wedge on them, they kick ass. They even survived getting hit by a car without a scratch; which I can walk in just fine, in case you were wondering. So that varment conviently didn't come home after school. One of these days she's going to end up missing, and found dead sometime later. I wish she had some brains or common sense or something. See, FAS children lack the corpus callosum (sp) dividing the halves of the brain. Without it they can learn morals and rules and such, but they cannot apply it to real-life situations. Hence her stealing, losing track of time, doing things she's told not to do or knows she's not supposed to do. It's a bitch to live with on a daily basis. And left-handed people such as myself, our corpus callosums are generally thicker than right-handed individuals, thus making us smarter and more artistic and such. And it's not proven that we die quicker than righties... those studies haven't been observed all that long, and I'd bet that righties would be really prone to accidents and the like in a lefties world. I have my computer mouse on the left side of our system and half my family can't even work it properly. Ha. Anyway, I'm totally off tangent here. I want my damn shoes back.

My mother got into town today. She's not drunk tonight which really astounds me because ya know, I hardly ever see her sober. She's not even all that bitchy when I think about it. But she said my ass is too flat, so that's not very nice of her. Maybe she's dying or something and wants to be nice to us so we don't resent her as much as we already do. She's wheezing pretty bad these days, I think all that smoking caught up with her; and I'm surprised her liver hasn't surrendered yet. Poor, poor mother.

I think I shall finish the blanket I made. And just to note: don't buy clockit soybean snacks, they taste like wax nubs.

I'm wearing: Baby tee, STU scrubs, frog socks, flower slippers
I'm listening to: Sunglasses at night *Corey Hart*
I'm thinking: Too many things at once, not unusual for me