i don't think this'll be a long one, so bear with me.

i watched a really good movie today. marilyn and i went to the video store to rent a few movies. donuvan (sp) was working there, and only today did i realize how good-looking he was. and only when he smiled at me. i almost melted! anyway, hehe... we rented pay it forward and some other one.

pay it forward was a great movie. it wasn't realistic at all, but there were a few parts that really hit me. see, my mother's an alcoholic. and i'm not talking this boy's mother in the movie. i'm talking those crackhead drunks you see in those crazy movies. close enough to it anyway.

the boy's mother admitted she had her problems. yes, she put that boy through a lot of crap. but then she admitted to him that she had a problem. and she asked for help. she really wanted it. she apologized for her behavior. and my mother will never do that. i know she won't. she can't even admit she's drunk after getting drunk. how pathetic is that? i really wish she would change. she has a family that she doesn't care about. a family that i'm keeping together. i don't know what's going to happen when i leave the province for university, it leaves me with a lot of worries. i'm sick of worrying about my family all the time. i shouldn't have to. but i guess that's the way things will always be.

but, i kind of lost track with where i was going here. i need sleep, i think i got about 3� hours sleep this morning before i went to college. i caught up with a lot of old friends, which kept me up all night. so, i guess that's it then (sorry for being so morbid, i promise i'll be normal again tomorrow!).

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