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let me let go
Monday, Aug. 27, 2001
Marie is The current mood of canadianbabs@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

you know, i'm leaving in... 27 hours. and i have yet to pack. but you know... i've always packed right to the last minute. it's always better that way =o)

nicole left today. i went to help her pack up her car and spend our last few moments together here in this crap town. it was a bit emotional, but we did quite well. i know i'll be seeing her a few times a month and we'll be in touch, but it feels like we'll never see each other again.

i started to really look around my room to find out what i'm taking. i think i have about everything i need, but i know i'll forget at least two things. i always forget things.

my family went for a car ride to this beautiful place around a half-hour drive out of town, where you can get on top of this big cliff and see the waterfalls. and we picked raspberries until we got eaten alive by flies. i even got two bites on my tummy.

lisa-marie and her cousin sylvia spent the night here. we rented sweet november (charlize theron looks sooo good in this movie, but i wouldn't say it out loud cause sylvia doesn't know i'm bi and i'm sure she'd be freaked, especially when i was cuddled up into her, hehe), and curled up on my little twin bed. lisa-marie and sylvia kinda squat together, and i used sylvia's hip as a pillow. whenever she talked about justin, i got quite jealous. why wouldn't i? but i was a good girl, i didn't say anything. it was a pretty fun night actually.

i gave lisa-marie a going away card, and she got emotional again. i'm sure it'll all hit me when i leave, and i'm on that plane. which i'm still a little iffy about, because whenever i get ready for a trip, there's some sort of public plane crash. this time it's aaliyah. i've been seeing memories of her all over the place.

around 2 a.m. the girls decided to go home. one had to work and the other had a doctor's appointment. and i have to move away. but we stood outside my house, and talked, and embraced, and got sentimental, and blah. i'm going to miss lisa-marie. she kept taking pictures of me (oooh, remind me to buy a disposable camera!), and telling me how she was going to miss me. they finally left around 2:45, and when lisa-marie and i hugged, it was like we wanted to let go, but we couldn't. i don't want to lose her.

now it's nearly 3:30 a.m. and i have to get up before 10 to start my moving. damn, this has crept on me WAY too fast! now i'm starting to get all emotional. someone HOLD ME. convince me things will be great. make me love change.

i need change.

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