I, for one, am very proud of myself! I've finally managed to work myself into a regular sleeping schedule. It's weird to be waking up when I usually used to go to bed... but who knew sunlight could have it's own advantages? Heh. That's the main reason for my lack of updates lately; by the end of the day I'm so tired that I just go to my room, crawl into bed and drift off into sleepyland. Sometimes I even go to bed in my day clothes if they're comfy enough! Anyway...

I've still got a lingering headache from Saturday night. Ashley is never coming over here again, at least when I have to watch the kids. It's natural for kids to be a bit too rambunctious (sp) in the company of friends, but my siblings take on a whole new meaning to the word. My head was pounding just a few hours after their friend came over and no matter how many times I told them to calm down, they just wouldn't listen to me. Eventually they got really crazy and started a cat fight. They both came out of it with battle wounds, my brother getting the worst end of it. I really felt like throwing a fit and hoping they would just shut up and give me a break... but noooo. I think I eventually just took a tylenol (yes, it was THAT bad) and crawled into bed around 8 p.m. If I don't get out of this house anytime soon, I'm as good as dead.

It seems like the housework just piles up these days... there's ALWAYS something to do! I wouldn't mind it if my sibs at least picked up after themselves and did the dishes every once in a while, but they insist on being their own form of royalty. One of these days I'm going to kick them over in their thrones and demand that they help or suffer the consequences. Haha, like they would ever listen. If I only had to cook and do laundry, I'd be one happy camper. I kick ass at cooking, and absolutely adore doing laundry. Does that make me weird? I guess it's a gift given to me for survival of motherhood 'cause when I get there, I'm gonna be up to my elbows in cloth diapers.

I'd be 17 weeks pregnant now which just boggles my mind. How does the time pass by so quickly? Brayden would be blinking, sucking his thumb, moving around on his own... it's just amazing. I feel really cheated when I think how things would have progressed by now; I never got to feel him kicking or having a bout of the hiccups. I never got to show off my round tummy or anything, and I wonder what I did to deserve it. Why was he taken from me? I'll never get to hold him or kiss him, or watch him grow up. Life can be so cruel. And I'll never know why it happened.

I watched a really great movie last night, it was called "Profoundly Normal". It was really great, if any of you managed to see it. It was based on a true story about two mentally challenged kids growing up in an institution and overcoming society. They moved out on their own, got jobs, had a social life. They got married, had a child, and rose above society's reactions towards them. It makes me proud of people like that; and one day I hope I can be just as strong.

Okay, it's taken me almost 2 hours to write this as MSN and AIM buddies are keeping me busy and I'm just drained. I need some serious sleep right now, so I'll update more tomorrow.

At least I hope so.

I'm wearing: Long-sleeved baby tee, double button flared jeans, cow socks, butterfly slippers
I'm listening to: Moment of weakness *Bif Naked*
I'm thinking: I'd rather be sleeping... 10:00 or no 10:00